two sides

She said she couldn't dare write it.
It was too deep for them
It was too raw even for herself
They wouldn't understand
They would call her crazy
Call her a freak
They wouldn't call her at all

She said she would always write it
All her thoughts
Whatever they were
No one would come between her and herself
To be this free with words is profound she reminded herself
and so she began..

this old town

is it true?
the lonely find each other
in moments of weakness
disolve through embrace
for a little while

untitled

You were nothing until you were something
an imagine, an idea
I built you up to be what I wanted you to be
But when I looked and listened, I saw the man you were
And you weren't who I built you up to be
But I loved you all the same
Your smile, your words, your mind, they all glimmered in the light
It was your heart I couldn't get to

word usage

You inspire me to fly
Outside my head
Among clouds
high above and down below
eyes wide open

When we talk of my discoveries
As simple as they may be
I feel unique
and fittingly human

I cry when I am in pain
I laugh when I feel joy
I'm sad to watch you go
Angry when you don't return

And when I have nothing to write
I write shit like this
I'd rip up this page If I knew that one day
I'd look back and contemplate the word shit
and if I will be judged on the basis of my language

ugh

What is our purpose, you and I?
What emotions should I feel?
Is it you who will change my world?
How do you feel?
What if we just picked up and took a chance
What if I did, took a chance, that is.
Apologies for the repetion
those words do not exactly glide off my tongue
Rather like glued letters on my lips
Now I'm exhausted
Maybe I'll just go see a movie
alone

San Diego

What an amazingly beautiful morning
I love waking up to you
I suppose I should lay off the hash

the moon lit the night

the moon lit the night but not your heart
all contemplation around the surreal
and the inevitale bleakness of an afterthought
for you
not me
to move forward would be logical
and yet, a bit of a bust
all the thought and hope
washed away
not fear this time
not even circumstance.
but reality
lifes biggest pitfall
worse than time
i cant make you see
I pick up my sky and go
i suppose i should just find another galaxy..
one that understands
or is willing to accept
whichever way it goes
i was true to myself..
the rest will be left to the blackness
the moon lit the sky
another heart
another time

The sun rose high today and burned my skin. I woke this morning with a pain in my heart. I must have dreamt of you.

angels spread their wings for those who wish to fly

In moments of stillness
My eyes wide shut
I am overcome with sadness
Until I feel my heart expand
And I realize you are part of my soul
Doors open for those who accept fear
wipe their tears
and open their eyes
beauty resonates beneath our skin
life is glorious in all its form
death creates an enlightenment so profound
to understand it means you have become part of the gift
angels spread their wings for those who wish to fly

should something not serve you well, throw it in the fire.. banish it from your sight.. true to self.. true to body.. true to mind

do you realize

life will begin when you let it...
thats what they say

bear my cross

I come to you with this cross, and I say "bear it with me." Otherwise, tell me how and when I can disappear from here without a trace. It's becoming too much. The anger.. the sadness.. the repetition of the two. I'm overwhelmed. Let's not mention their pain.. their anger.. their need of me. Quite frankly, my ears have banished me.. My voice went missing and my eyes don't see much past my nose. So here I am with this cross and I ask you to bear it with me. Do you understand my need? Do you have the time? Can the dancing commence. I'm tired.. Remember when we laughed all day and searched for answers. Now it seems the questions are answered but they've lost their meaning. I have this cross, can you bear it with me?

endings shouldnt be thought up in the beginning

I wrote a story and I named it 'you'
i conjoured up the end right from the beginning
and made up the start when i finished the conclusion
the middle was filled with love and hope and all things blue
but i sabotaged it all from the start with the end
isn't that how you always worked it out, i remind myself
again and again
hope floats until you sink it
orchids grow until you burn the seeds

cross culture

In another world of which I am only familiar through my imagination, lives a mind and soul I have often wished I'd align with like that winter day some time ago..

truth

two steps back
a lifetime forward

adieu

I closed my eyes and thought hard about what you didn’t say
Or what it is I thought I wanted to hear
Until I realized I had heard it all before
There were no words left to speak
The conclusion was evident in my mind and abundantly clear in my heart
I contemplated opening up for the sake of opening up
Rehashing the past for a moment or for 3 more years
Until I remembered who I was and where my loyatly lied
lied being the operative word for so long
but my loyalty now was with me
and my heart was on my sleeve
both where they belonged
Always now, with me
Adieu

subtle reminders

sometimes i have to remind myself who you are
when my eyes are shut and in your embrace
when i'm lost in thought and i hear your voice
startled to know delusion creates mystery in my own head
in my own thoughts
sometimes i have to remind myself who you are
when our lips are close and our bodies are intertwined
just in case i forgot

i listen to your words and recount my own memories
you feel things most dont
and make sense of time and pour your feelings on paper
and your view into a tiny box of light
when you smile your eyes light up
and when you whisper to me in a crowded room
everything makes sense regardless of whether I've heard you or not

life before death

life before death
so different than this indeed
you were here and I was someone else
but we all existed
where you are now I can only imagine
and who I've become I finally understand

poetry

my hands draw words that pour from my heart into space to reveal my minds wishes and wonders.. my soul is aligned within a realm only i understand..often i contemplate how and if i move you